Exaustion!

I was once a very independent girl! When I say that-- I lived alone, didn't have many friends. And my social life consisted of Xbox Live and my Dungeons and Dragons group.  I even went to movies alone.  I was satisfied with that life-- I was not searching for a man... but a man came into my life.  Hes an intellectual and he lets me know it.  However when it comes to interpersonal skills hes not so intellectual-- and that's where I come it.  So the relationship and a good give and take.  He has progressed very nicely... *twiddles beard*  Soon... HE SHALL TAAAAKE OVERRRR THEEEE WORRRRLD! MUAAhahaha.  

But really-- There is something inside of me this summer that wants to get out and play in the sun!  Canoe down a river, I want to experience things I have never experienced before.  I ask him to do it with me and gives me a sassy look like "Who is paying for that? and why would I ever want to do something so impulsive and unplanned!? Also, You should know better than to expect me to want to be outside! PISH POSH" I then realized there was a time where I didn't need him to do things with me, I did things on my own.  I miss that life because I didn't have to run things past anyone.  Unfortunately I don't think I will be able to do those things unless I convince my Mom or Dad to do them with me. 

But then I thought...  What is it that I really want? Is it I want to go experience shit... or is it just I miss having control over my actions, or fundamentally is it that I miss doing impulsive actions without feeling judged?  I am sure its a combination of all of those things.

What am I to do?

I know.. I can take back part of my history!!! I have a plan to to invite my friend to my apartment... we do girl fun impulsive things like we did back in the day. The end.  Lol. If that doesn't make my hunger for adventure go away-- then I will join a hip hop dance class... well I might do that anyway.. HEHE!

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Now, It is Bryce and my 2 year anniversary tomorrow and I want to something sweet for him... I will probably clean the apartment and make chili.  But the thing is-- he has been really agitated with me lately SO I guess I will have predict what he wants with my super awesome psychic abilities.  YEAH! No, he will probably like anything  I do.... *wink wink* heh.

Granted-- I am slightly fed up with his pompous ass demeanor.  He is a sweet gentleman that treats me wonderfully and kindly.  I usually just laugh at him when hes getting charlatan on me.. lol

Mothers Day

Its the National Day for my Mom and I am conflicted. I am conflicted because I love her so much and I want to give to everything. Its just hard because she never asks for anything and always thinks of others before herself.  People like that should never be overlooked and always cared for.  Unfortunately I am way to poor to purchase her anything, I have given her paintings and letters of appreciation and she always loves it.  But the thing is I am unsatisfied with the results of what I do-- because its not good enough. I want to try new things and different things... Perhaps I should steal our family pictures and scrapbook it.  BUT I know she wants to learn it and do it.  Suggestions? Later today my sister is holding a Thor party so I should head out.  Good Night All .